Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
