dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Four minutes until I can fart!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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