i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
