Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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