Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it's like iHOP with fire
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize