I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
