I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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