is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
