ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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