Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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