I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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