we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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