My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
