she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize