I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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