is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
