I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
