I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
