Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
