ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there was a trapeze. enough said
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
