She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
