I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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