There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
