My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
