i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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