He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
