Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
