Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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