Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have fence marks all over my body
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
