Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
