You really coming over, don't trick.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
