I met the friendliest cop last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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