Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
