i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
