i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I forgot how hot balto sounded
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
