Don't you send me to vm
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
did i walk over a car last night?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
