You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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