Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
