And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize