By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
