i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it's like iHOP with fire
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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