EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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