you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
