i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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