The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
