goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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