if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
