no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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