I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
