3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
