She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
