Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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