Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
