dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
