You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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