I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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