Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We need a shit load of segways right now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
