my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
