Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
